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Road Trips, Vegas, and A Strange New World
Smile, Nature, River
My post won't be as neat-o as Ameya's, but I can offer a uniquely "boy" version of our Spring Break.

Day 1:

Well, I was up like a little boy on Christmas, excited and ready to go bright and early. Ameya, on the other hand, was not up bright and early but she was such a little soldier and once I got her in to the car, she did okay. Indiana and Illinois were dark and quick, and she slept through most of it. I wasn't tired anymore, so I just kept on trucking. Missouri was a bit annoying, but the traffic through Saint Louis was smooth and she got a good picture of the Arch. That was worth it. After Missouri though... HELL. 

We stopped in Kansas City to get some late-lunch, Red Robin (our staple) but they didn't have my Blackened Bayou Burger. Strike 1, Kansas. Then, after that, I quickly adjusted to driving about 25 mph faster than allowed in Ohio... or else be forced off of the road by some angry Republican in a big truck who can smell Lib'rul blood. Oh yeah, did I mention there are more pictures of Jesus along the highway than anywhere else in the world? Not that I have anything against Christians... it's just this particular strain of Christianity is the annoying, loud, "we judge you and love it" type. Ugh. Strike 2. The final strike? KANSAS IS SEVEN FUCKING HOURS LONG, EVEN WHEN YOU GO 85 MPH. Fuck Kansas. We aren't going back. Ever. EVER.

Things changed for the awesome once we got in to Colorado though, and it was smooth sailing (and by sailing, I mean my little car chugging up the side of the Rocky Mountains) until we arrived at my Aunt June's somewhere around 8pm their time. At that point, all I wanted to do was sleep. So I did. Unfortunately, being an old man, I (we) were up with the sun which meant way, way earlier than I (we) wanted. 

Day 2:

Colorado is very pretty. It's so pretty, that I can see why all of the Conservative Hippies settled there. But they're cold. They, like the Kansans, will run you off of the road in their big trucks without crying a single tear. So, I had to put on my fast-driving pants and fit in with the crowd. Ameya got a ton of pretty pictures, and we stopped in Vail for some Taco Bell (which almost made her hurl, but at least we know refried beans are off of the list of foods she can eat!)  and to marvel at the faux-European vibe it gave off. 

Colorado was pretty, Utah was pretty boring. Sort of like Kansas, but with creepier people and more bends in the road. There was stuff on fire along the side of the road, and that was it. We were basically counting down the miles until Vegas. And when I saw it as we crested that hill... I was amazed at the width and brightness of the city. Driving was fucking crazy, but at least I was the one doing it and not Ameya. She said on numerous occasions that she was happy that I was driving, or else we'd be pulled over along side of the road and she'd be crying. 


It sucked. I mean, it was kind of cool for the ambiance and all of that. But we stayed in "Old Vegas" at the Sahara, and it wasn't great. Ameya was tired and hungry and extra-pregnant that night so she was a bit leaky in the eyeball area and achy in the baby-carrying area. I tried to be the White Knight and save her by taking her to get some food at the buffet.... but it sucked. Fail. So then we tried to get the internet in the Sahara ($12) and it wouldn't work. So she bitched to the front desk lady about that and the horrible water temperature regulation system, and we got the money back. That was nice of them. So we went to sleep for an early evening, determined to have a better day tomorrow. 

Day 3:

Well, we woke up, got ready and headed down to IHOP. Ameya observed that it's so busy because it's familiar to people traveling. I thought it was perhaps because everyone had tried the buffet food the night before and didn't want to risk it again. Both are equally likely. I was already warm, and since I'm a big, hairy, chubby man, warm doesn't sit well with me. But I tried to be a good trooper and follow Ameya around as she marveled at the big-citiness of Vegas, took some pictures and relived her childhood a bit. 

We left Vegas right on time at 1pm, with some Chipotle and a burning desire to tell the entire world how horrible the Sahara is. We crossed in to California around 3pm, and started to eat our Chipotle. I pulled out a burrito and Ameya snatched it from me, ravenously hungry. I started to protest, the V looked a lot like a C to me at that angle, but she started to unwrap it and I unwrapped mine. One bite. One bite and I knew something was wrong. There was corn... and a distinct lack  of hot and chicken. Ameya's face wrinkled and then turned to sheer horror. She had almost eaten Chicken. She's adamantly proto-vegan. I almost peed myself laughing. I also almost felt bad about taking such a big bite of her Chipotle, but hey. Sometimes life hands you chicken burritos!

We got in to California and her mood instantly lifted. It's so beautiful to see her so happy and content. That, coupled with her pregnant glow, made her in that instant the most beautiful and graceful woman in the world. And I was the lucky son of a bitch who got to drive her around. I've never felt so proud, so accomplished as I did in that moment. We actually found a Classic Rock station and were listening to the Eagles. It was perfect. So perfect. 

LA driving sucks. We spent more time sitting around in traffic than we did actually going anywhere. And even the PCH (Pacific Coastal Highway) was crowded, which is abnormal according to Ameya. But I didn't mind. It was my first time seeing the Pacific, and I was bound to enjoy it. We got to her grandma's trailer, and I was shocked at how much everyone pays for a view. Ah well, there's the Midwest shining through in me. I got acquainted with her grandmother, we broke the news about the baby, and I was instantly a part of the family. Ahhh, it feels good. I went to bed on a trundle bed and realized I couldn't have a better life if I tried.

Day 4: 

I woke up having to pee, and deathly cold. Ameya was up off and on through the night because she'd rather kill her bladder than get a little cold, so she also peed. But, as is customary... once we're up, we're up. No internet. ARGH. Phone internet not behaving. ARGH. So I walked down to the beach to check emails, tell my father I'm alive, etc. Ameya didn't want to go, she claimed it was too icky in Paradise. Ah, to be so spoiled that a day in Paradise isn't worth checking out unless it's sunny, warm and nice. I was just happy to see the ocean. So I had some alone time, and then I went back up to begin our day.

Which leads me here, in a Starbucks in Malibu. I paid $4 for internet access, $4 for a sausage patty and cheese, and a lot more for Ameya's breakfast. Ugh. And then, since we're in MALIBU and STARBUCKS, I think I've overdosed on pretention for the day. So many trnedy people here, giving me awkward glares. Yes, I know I'm not well-dressed. Yes, my hair is dumb. Yes, I'm from the Midwest. Here, let me open a door for you. Aw, shucks. 

My internet is running low, I'll post more from somewhere free later. Ameya is happy I'm LJ'ing again. That's a start. 

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Hey my breakfast was only 1.25$ WHATCHOO TALKING ABOUT.

And awwwwwwwwwww. I love you!!! <3 Thank you for being so amazingggg!

Hey, I go away for a few weeks and Ameya is pregnant - and I'm defriended! :-p

Congrats guys! Very exciting news... :)

Also, your road trip sounds like wicked fun. Our next big trip is going to be a Stateside, cross-country road trip. If we're ever able to agree on states to visit...

haha "my daily dose of pretention". nice :p

hi! im a friend of ameya (on lj anyway!) :D

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